Jealousy Will Get You Nowhere is a fan made episode written by Rigsrigsrigs10918, Disneydude15 and CartoonLover.


Beamer becomes jealous of a handsome Rough Collie who starts hanging out with Maya, unaware that the Rough Collie is actually Maya's brother.


Part One

(At Holly's Puppy Pound, Beamer and Maya is sitting at the picnic table.)

Maya: My, what a beautiful and sunny day it is. Don't you think so, Beamer?

Beamer: (Sighs romantically) I agree, Maya. Although the temperature today is fifty degrees, I could still get used to the sunny weather.

Maya: Me too, Beamer.

(A handsome Rough Collie(Ramon) enters.)

Ramon: How do you do? My name is Ramon.

Maya: Ramon? I know that name!

(Maya rushes to Ramon and hugs him. Beamer frowns.)

Beamer: Who's he?

Maya: Beamer, this is Ramon.

Beamer: Ramon, huh? As in Ramon from Paris? Ramon from Rome? Ramon from Hollywood? Ramon from Barcelona? Ramon from Casablanca? Ramon from Monte Carlo?

Ramon: Actually, I came from Tinley Park.

Maya: I haven't seen you for a long time, Ramon.

(Ramon kisses Maya's forehead. Beamer's face turns red with anger and steam comes out of his nose.)

Beamer: (Thinking) What an inconsiderate jerk! Look at him! Dressed up all fancy and what-not! It's disgusting!

(Ramon and Maya notice Beamer.)

Ramon: Is something wrong?

(Beamer quickly shakes his head and smiles.)

Beamer: Oh, nothing. Just a slight headache.

Maya: Ramon's here to start a martial arts school for those who can't fight back against dognappers.

Beamer: (Scoffs) Really? I like to see him try.

Ramon: All right. Stand back, please.

(Ramon goes into a fighting stance.)

Beamer: (Aside) Show-off.

(Ramon does a few punches and kicks. He ends by standing on his head.)

Maya: He's very good, isn't he?

Beamer: Yeah, too good.

Ramon: Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to start my dojo. See you later.

(Ramon leaves. Later, Beamer, the rest of the Pound Puppies, Holly, and Howard are eating lunch. Beamer is very upset.)

Beamer: That Ramon guy is such a show-off. He's hitting on my girlfriend!

Igor: I don't know, Bounce. That Ravioli sure is nice.

Cooler: Iggy's right. You should give Ramon a chance before you decide whether you like him or not.

Beamer: Well, how would you like it if he starts hitting on either Nose Marie or Bright Eyes?

(Cooler and Igor say nothing.)

Beamer: I thought so.

(Ramon enters.)

Ramon: Hello, everyone.

(Beamer glares at Ramon.)

Beamer: (Whispering to Vigor) It's him again.

Ramon: I am happy to inform you all that the dojo is now open. (Noticing Beamer) Is there something wrong with your friend?

Vigor: Oh, Beamer is actually....

(Beamer pinches Vigor's shoulder, causing him to cry out.)

Beamer: Ix-nay on the ealousy-jay, igor-Vay.

Igor: Did you call me, Beamer?

Beamer: No, Igor.

Ramon: Is everyone willing to train at the dojo?

Igor: I'm willing to go. How about you, Bounce?

Beamer: Maybe.

Maya: What's wrong, Beamer? Don't you want to check out Ramon's dojo?

Beamer: I guess.

(The gang are standing near Ramon's dojo.)

Bright Eyes: Bow oh wow!

Cooler: Nice design for a dojo, Ramon.

Ramon: Thank you, Cooler.

Beamer: It looks okay. (Thinking) Too okay.

Ramon: If anyone wants to join my dojo, I will be waiting.

(Ramon goes to the dojo.)

Beamer: Show-off.

​Part Two

(In his doghouse, Beamer is meditating. A knock is heard on the door.)

Beamer: Come in. Be sure to wipe your feet first.

(Cooler enters and wipes his feet on the mat.)

Cooler: Yo, Beamer, my buddy.

Beamer: Hi, Cooler.

Cooler: I see you took up yoga.

Beamer: Yep, it's a great way to relax. So, how are things coming along, Cooler?

Cooler: Great. Ramon started his first class at the dojo.

Beamer: (Frowning) Oh. Ramon again. It's always have to be about that fancy-schmancy, ritzy, snooty, snazzy, snobby show off!

(Beamer tries to get into a yoga position.)

Beamer: I don't get what Maya sees in Ramon. I mean, how much of a show-off does he have to be?

Cooler: Well, he doesn't look like a show-off to me.

Beamer: Sure, he isn't. He's trying to move in on Maya and marry her.

(Beamer ends up getting into a twisted yoga position, with his feet hanging over his face.)

Cooler: I don't know about that, Beamer.

Beamer: What do you know, Cooler?

Cooler: Well, Beamer, he could be a long-lost relative of Maya.

Beamer: Hmph. That's a likely story. Next you'll tell me that Silas Shawshank is one of the greatest actors in the history of mankind.

(Beamer tries to get himself out of the position.)

Beamer: And how he came all the way from a place like Tinley Park, I'll never know. Anyway, Ramon's not getting Maya. Not on my watch. Maya is my sweetheart, not his! Ummm.... Can you help me out, Cooler? I'm stuck in this position.

Cooler: Okay.

Beamer: Careful, I bruise easily.

(Cooler carefully helps Beamer out of the position.)

Beamer: Whew. Thank you. Never knew I was that flexible.

Cooler: Sure. But, Beamer, you shouldn't jump to conclusions. You should get to know Ramon before judging him.

Beamer: You know what... You're right. Maybe I should find out more about him. Thanks for the advice, Cooler.

Cooler: You're welcome.

(Later, Beamer walks up to Ramon.)

Beamer: Hello, Ramon.

Ramon: Oh. Hello, Bounce.

Beamer: Bounce?

Ramon: That's what your friend, Igor, calls you. Am I correct?

Beamer: No. My name is not Bounce. My name is Beamer. Beamer Airlee Alcott.

Ramon: My apologies, Beamy.

Beamer: Don't call me that either!

Ramon: My apologies again, Beamer.

Beamer: That's.... (calms down) that's okay, Ramon. So, what do you usually do?

Ramon: Well, I've come to offer assistance for a dojo.

Beamer: Assistance? What kind? (Aside) Hopefully, it's not gonna be toilet duty.

Ramon: Well, Beamer, I was hoping if you could help me teach our new students.

Beamer: Really?

Ramon: Yes.

Beamer: Well.... I don't know what to say. Thank you.... (bowing) Sensei Ramon.

Ramon: You're welcome.... (Bowing) my young pupil.

(Later, Beamer is in a cheerful mood while sweeping the floor at his salon. Cooler enters.)

Cooler: Well, I see that you are in a happy mood.

Beamer: Yep! Ramon made me his student today.

Cooler: Cool.

Beamer: Yeah. Maybe you're right, Cooler. Ramon is not a bad guy after all.

Cooler: Good. I'm glad you and Ramon are getting along.

Beamer: Me too, Cooler. Me too. You can never have too many friends.

Cooler: Yeperoonie.

(Cooler's stomach growls.)

Cooler: Ooh! Must be time for lunch. Come on. Let's go get something to eat.

Beamer: Okay, Cooler.

(Later, Cooler and Beamer are seen eating lunch.)

Beamer: Mm-mmm! Howard makes the best hamburgers, don't you think?

Cooler: Yep.

(Beamer sees Ramon and Maya together.)

Beamer: Look at that. Ramon is together with Maya.

(Ramon playfully tickles Maya, which angers Beamer.)

Beamer: (Angrily) Cooler! He's doing it again. He's coming on to Maya!

Cooler: (Aside) Here we go again.

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